Friday, September 23, 2016

Stadium Reviews

New idea to review each professional sports stadium based from the common man seats. So not going to review the in stadium restaurant or VIP parking but more alongs the lines if the seats had cup holders for your beer.   Hoping to film them in the future but for now let my beautiful words paint the picture.


Dodger Stadium
Los Angeles, CA
Capacity: 56,000
Opened: April 10, 1962

       Every sports fan usually can generate an idea from watching a game on TV what type of stadium is amazing compared to a basic stadium. For me that basic stadium has always been Dodger stadium. Whenever I catch that 12:30am Dodger game on TV thats in the 4th inning while Rick Sutcliffe explains that weird ass NL baseball move of a double switch with the camera panning over Dodger stadium, I always wonder why LA has a terrible looking stadium. Seeing the stadium first hand last night, I once again realized I am never wrong on first impressions.

     
  First things First shoutout to fucking Seatgeek. Snagged tickets for 5 dollars and it was lodge level. Biased as I am to Fenway, for 5 dollars Carl Everett wont even head butt you. Anytime you can snag decent seats for less than 15 bucks even if against those stoner Rockies, A+ every time. Also getting to the stadium with LA traffic has to be a nightmare so what does that slick mogul Magic Johnson do, bam free bus transportation with your Dodgers ticket right to the game. Bus picks you up from Union Station, runs non stop 2 hours before game time until the 3rd inning. Then after game starts up again.


Showed up during the 2nd inning because 9 innings is fucking boring if its not your team or playoffs. Impressed right away with Dodger stadium handing out the tall boys of beer. Side note I now understand why people get stabbed at Dodger/Giants games. Dodger stadium dabbles in the 50/50 game so for suckers like myself you do get to daydream for a few innings how $14,000 bucks is enough for retirement. Concessions were very basic with a couple different varieties of hotdogs being your creme de la crepe. One noticeably takeaway from the stadium is the poor view from the concessions on the lower levels due to the overhang of the seats above. The feeling of watching the game like cyclops would through his laser shades was defiantly a weird design. Due to it being an old stadium I understand the design of levels being stacked but todays world people want to walk around catching Pokemon, so new stadiums like Citi field more adhere to the ability to still watch the game while in the concourse area.

Favorite part of going to any game for the common man is scouting lower level seating. What blew my mind was at most lower level sections no one was checking tickets. For 5 bucks I was able to watch Puig snapchat the entire game as we moved 15 rows behind home plate. Moving down to lower levels is a sport. If you move down in the 9th inning with 2 outs then get the fuck off my blog. But for those of us who snaggle on in the section during the middle of the 5th inning camouflaging in like Major Dutch Schaefer with mud smeared all over him this review is for you.    

                Overall Dodger Stadium gets a C+ at best. Fans and atmosphere felt like a playoff game as should be expected in late September. The stadium however just felt like I was in a bigger triple AAA stadium with just your basic concessions, no fan interaction and annoying CHARGE chant every inning. Its either DAYO or fuck off organist.

To wrap up every stadium blog will feature my favorite brawl in that stadium.




Thursday, September 22, 2016

Packers Preview: Thank God for the Lions


I want to do Girl Things



Being a dude is by far the best thing in the world. Seriously ask any girl while she is in the fetal position crushing sour patch watermelons on her period if she would trade lives to be a guy. From getting so much enjoyment in seeing our sports teams win a championship to sending our friends a snapchat of how big a shit you just took, being a guy is the best. Now dont get me wrong I am not going all Bruce Jenner but sometimes you gotta ask why cant guys do shit girls do.


1. Getting Nails Done
Nothing makes a girl happiest like getting a new neon yellow nail polish that makes the Oregon ducks uniforms look plain. I partly want to do this because I always am going full Tyson on my nails. Between scratching my balls and shoving popcorn in my face, my hands are always dirty so why not get them cleaned by some asian woman making fun of you the entire time, because that is the atmosphere I want. You always hear girls saying how rude the asian woman was or how hard she went on her poor little delicate fingers, well too dam bad because thats how it should be. I want the asian woman to be so disgusted with my finger nails that she has to reevaluate just how hard she will berate me while I sit there with a shit eating grin staring at the koi pond.                
        
2. Ordering weird shit at Starbucks. 
 The Starbucks in my town does not have a drive thru which besides being inconvenient also means I have to actually put on pants if I want coffee. Every once in a while I get stuck behind a woman who will order something that sounds like she read it out of a chip kelly playbook. As guys you cant have the barista yell "Mike your venti oreo crumble upside down frappacino perfectly chilled at 48 degrees is ready". Now dont get me wrong when I feel like dropping 8 bucks on a coffee even though I have a Kuerig, i go for that carmel macchiato. However ordering it is not even the worst part its the walk of shame you make past everyone else. So heres to one day that maybe I can order that pink iced tea and proudly put in on my snapstory. 

3. Rom Coms
Now obviously any movie or tv show you watch with your girl does not count against you but cant a guy enjoy an episode of friends once in a while. To admit that you may have flipped over to 10 things I hate about you so you can watch it again for the fourth time shouldn't be hated on.



obligatory white chicks scene